Insomnia and pretty eyes

I'm having trouble sleeping
Cause you're, cause you're, cause you're
In my mind, repeating.
It feels like bleeding
A nuclear bomb heating
Or maybe it feels like exactly what I'm needing
Anyways, hear the sheep bleating
As I'm counting
Oneing, twoing, threeing, threeing...

My grumblings against shallow, foolish people called Christians.

Am I wrong in saying that the modern church does little to point non-believers to God?

Allow me to speak in stereotypes that all will understand.

The modern Christian has a holier-than-thou attitude. He clings desperately to rules of morality, as though these rules of morality will make him better than other people, and in doing so will secure his place in heaven. He disregards the fact that this directly disagrees with the Christian fundamentals of God's grace and mercy.

The modern Christian song is a sermon. I recently realized how hollow this is when I heard a wonderful song by a band called Cursive that spoke of how there is no God and we should all get used to it. Obviously, if someone disagrees with such a song, such blunt lyrics are not going to convert them. But a song like "Jesus Christ" by Brand New, where someone who I believe to be non-Christian (correct me if I'm wrong) is struggling with his own beliefs is much more human, much more real, much more honest. And a song like that causes all people to look inside themselves, no matter what they believe.

The modern Christian is generally Christian because their parents were, or because it makes them feel better about themselves, or because it looks good to the public. The modern Christian has no depth to their belief. In fact, the modern Christian has no depth to any belief. The modern Christian (as opposed, I've noticed, to the modern atheist) has little interest in studying philosophy or religion, because they believe to already know the truth and have little need for questioning it.

But interestingly, the modern Christian seems to have little interest in studying the bible as well. So the truth they believe they have is one they know very little of.

In essence, the modern Christian is shallow, hypocritical, and conceited. Which are three antoyms to the God they claim to emulate.

And the modern Christian doesn't care.


And I write this as a Christian. Where did we go so wrong?

I'm a wildebeast, beset on all sides

With wild wildebeast moans
I feel so alone
With all the grass and dusty dirt paths
Stumbling onward like drunks. calls. lasts.
Forest and vines and wicked moonlight
Wandering, foolishly lost at midnight
And something ain't right
God damn fight or flight
I'm juiced like a naked-chick shaped neon light
Flickering but bright
Turn me on like your red light
Leave me turned on for sin-filled nights
But leave me alone and I'll die
Somewhere out in the forest of lies
Eaten alive

70s metaphorical lust

A lava lamp
Blueish yellowish green
A tranquil scene
Serene
Up and down it goes
So... Slow...
Rises up and falls like snow.
It glows.
And somehow...
It is jealousy and hope.
That rise and fall and glow
Embodies all I long to know:
The rise and fall and glow
Of you

Philosophy question of the night

Imagine for a minute that for your whole life, from the very moment of your conception until the last breath escapes from your weathered old lungs, you lived in a dark cave. You never knew sunlight, you never knew moonlight, you never saw color. Everything was completely black.

Do you think that you could imagine the innumerable stars? The vast and deep ocean? A sky full of clouds that seem to go on forever, painted like cartoons by the very hand of God himself?

It's like trying to imagine a color that doesn't exist in our world. How could you do it?

So, in Philosophy class, in a bunch of carefully-worded steps, Descartes theorized that because we have an idea of God in our minds, then that would point towards the existence of such a God. Because imagining God without anything to give us the idea would be as ridiculous as imagining a color that no man has ever seen.

Can we as finite beings truly imagine some all-knowing, all-powerful, everlasting being? If we were to conjure God ourselves, wouldn't he be much more like us? Maybe more like the greek gods of old, swooping down to seduce ladies. Much more human.


I'm not saying I'm convinced on this argument. I'm just looking for feedback by people much more learned than I.

Uh... sad.

La la la
My weary soul sighs out a song
It echoes up through dusty lungs
Climbs a ladder to my tongue
And pleads with it to please be sung.
La la la la la
My weary feet tap out a dance
Hips swivel sexy sexy pants
And for once I'm more than mortal man
I am Don Juan, lord of romance.
La la la la
I close my eyes
And sing this song, and what surprise
My voice sounds like a cat that died
And all my fantasies subside
At least I can say I tried.