untitled song a

I hear about your dates with other men
I hear you whispering to them
I hear your moans inside my head
And somehow that don't change the way
I look at you when we're alone
Like somehow I'm gon' make you all my own

Little woman I adore
Will you hurt my heart some more?
I'd better get myself out that front door
I'd better leave this town and never look back

But I
Wanna be your man

Now I've got nothing left to lose
But I've got a lot to say to you
I had a dream
In black and blue
And every scene
Was you.

Now on this earth, under the sun
I am a man on the run
But my heart is left
On your sleave
But if you want me to
I will leave

But I
Wanna be your man

And I can't forget your smell with your scarf around my neck

I'm drowning my sorrows in Amber Bock and coffee
Apple Pie blisses that grandma made just for me
And snowy white joy rides through Minnesota streets.
White scarf that smells like you did when I left
And warm like that hug that we shared for a bit
That bit that could last all night in my head
All night regretting that we never kissed.
Maybe it's a bad idea, but my heart doesn't care
And I can't persuade it to alter one prayer.
They echo like blue moans in my ears
And I'll spend til morning wishing you were here.

the death of light

Is it cloudy or has the sun died?
Either way the darkness fills my wretched eyes.
So what if the sun had died? Big surprise.
It's just like everything else in life
It had its time
Now... decline

Until it's gone

Is there a constant?
I grab the railing, but it's not screwed in.
It just falls off the wall and comes with
And I'm falling.

It's like a drunken stumble
You're never balanced, never comfortable
Always trying to remain somewhere stable
And you always fail

Perception

When the sun's behind the cloud, does that make the sun dark?
"Perception is reality" is a half truth, just a start
For when my sky is clouded over, the black is what I see
But despite the blackness on the earth, the sun shines merriliy.

I haven't written prose in awhile...

He rocked back and forth on his bed, knees to his head.

"I didn't want it to end like this."

"No one ever does."

He looked up for a second, and through the deep shadows concealing his eye sockets she could barely sense the glimmer of tears. He sniffed, and wiped his hands over his cheeks roughly. He looked away.

"Yeah, what do you know about anything?"

She looked down at her feet. The soles were black with soot.

"I know a little," she said quietly.

He stopped rocking.

The soot was thick on her shoes. She scraped her feet together, right over left, trying to clear some of it away. To make them clean again. She just found more layers of soot. When she looked up, he was staring at her, eyes barely visable in the deep shadows of his eye sockets, poking out just above his knees which he still clung to, tight against his chest. His face was dark, part from the shadows, and part from the smoke and debris. She tilted her head and looked curiously at him for a moment, and then sighed and looked back down at her shoes.

"I didn't want to die alone," he whispered.

"Don't ever say anything like that again!" she snapped at him, eyes suddenly full of fire. "Don't ever say anything so horrible. You're not alone. You've never been alone."

I feel alone, his eyes said to her.

"I feel alone."

She was quiet for a minute, looking back at her shoes.

"I know," she said, finally.

He buried his face in his knees again, gripping his legs hard against his small wiry chest as he gasped breath in through clenched teeth.

"Why do bad things happen to good people?" he asked finally, forcing the words out through aching lungs.

She sighed and put a hand up to her forehead, as if the slight pressure could help her think.

"It's the bittersweet. No one really wants a perfect life. It's too boring. If there's no risk, there's no adventure. If there's nothing to lose, there's nothing to gain."

"That's bullshit."

"Maybe..." and she was still for a moment. Then finally, "but it's the only way you can be free. Freedom and fairness don't seem to coexist very well in this world."

But he wasn't listening. His eyes were closed now.

Tonight's introspection

Romanticized bullshit swirls in, out, and around me
Oozes out my ears
Fills my mouth
Gagging
Gagging.

I'm swimming in it.

Blue

I see the rain
Pitter pattering, splattering the windshield
Blue street light. Sad. Surreal.
Drops dripping down glassy night
Dark microcosm in my eye
Headlight in the distance turns to taillight long gone
Deep rumbling motor turns to whisper windsong
And we are alone
The radio lets off a lusty low moan
Midnight woman in husky baritone
You can feel the soul
Side of the road
Blue drops falling like soft blue snow
Like dark blue notes
Jazz played softly by the rain on the road
Blue and slow
Watery scat solo
I lean in to kiss you
So so slow
And just for a second it's all that I know
Your watery face, your blue tinted lips
And just for that second, an improvised kiss